Have I made it yet?
(Listen to this song while you read, listening inspired this post.)
I recently finished typing the last words of the first draft of my very first novel and the last bits were born while listening to Mon Rovia. I have a lot of good work ahead of me but I’ll never say never. This is my sixty-sixth walk around the sun, and I am still amazed by what life teaches me I can do… I occasionally wonder, have I made it yet, always knowing I haven’t. Not because I think it is impossible, I just think that if you believe you are done growing then it is about time to get onto some dying.
I still see so many flaws in the who, of the who I am, but I am still full of energy to burn towards creating ways to turn those flaws into beauty. My dad, the cowboy, turned ninety-six a bit ago and continues to teach me grace and the beauty of joy.
I have been putting Mon Rovia in my ears for a while now. I think I was on my sixty-fourth walk when I started finding their little snippets of joy on the socials. After breathing in so many words of joy and hope I started to wonder what else I could learn and I have kept my ear to Mon Rovia’s fountain of joy ever since. That is the only way you can describe this artist’s heart, a mighty fountain of joy. Even when they sing about the government’s heavy foot, they sing from a place of pure and beautiful joy.
Janjay, is Mon Rovia, born in Liberia during its first civil war and narrowly escaped a life as a child soldier during their second civil war. He was rescued by a family of missionaries and later relocated with them to North America. He has lived in Montana, Florida and the Bahamas, now residing in Tennessee[i]. There are so many words that this artist has dropped over the interwebs, and they are spoken from a heart of joy and love that has walked crooked the road. These are songs from honest stories of a life that matters, just like you and I. I believe that is at the heart of every Mon Rovia lyric.
As I have grown older and buried my face in music, I have found that the character of an artist matters deeply. I was initially drawn to Mon Rovia because of the kindness and love that emanates from them. I understand the power of music and its ability to fill your soul. I know that the music I consume has an effect on me like the food I eat. Mon Rovia is good for my soul, it heals me and inspires me to write the greatest story ever told.
Bloodline was released on January 9, 2026, and I have no idea the miles walked, nor the depth of love poured into this album. Something this beautiful does not grow from a shallow place, something like this comes from a soul who is listening to their ancestors. Something like this comes from paying attention to the joy they have found wafting around their life. This album is a start from the beginning and a do not skip anything kind of album. Give this your full attention… I look forward to exploring the beauty in Mon Rovia’s work for the rest of my life…
When I started this writing journey, I had no idea where I was going, kind of like being born. I knew I loved writing like breathing, but I had no clue what I wanted to do with that, so I just played… I worked on this blog and wrote about an uncle I missed. I wrote about being eighteen and rolling my truck, but instead of surviving like I did in real life, I die.
I wrote about waking up and being able to see.
I wrote about being energy and watching music.
I wrote about time as a song…
I threw every thought into a file I called the blob, and from that, I found pieces that looked like structure and I made a few chapters out of it. I asked a few friends to read it and one of them asked me the greatest question ever asked…
“What happens when stars don’t sing?”
Liam’s question took me back to the very beginning of everything, the very first song.
I started over…
Now I am taking you to places only I know…
Here I sit, writing to celebrate writing. Regardless of how long it takes me to edit this I wanted to say that I found my way here and I found it because of music. There are so many artists that walked with me through all 99,000 words, many of those artists I have written about here. All of them create with everything they have and their art feeds those who are listening, it gives us the energy to create and keep the cycle humming.
A big part of the last five or six years has been looking through the shards that reflect pieces and remnants of my life. Pictures from my youth, scribblings about something. Curating the pieces that belong to my story and coming to terms with writing about them and letting those parts of me go free.
While writing I found a spirituality I can adore, one that celebrates each of us and honors the magic of music that exists in all of us. I have found grace for the people who passed through my life and I’ve not seen in my thoughts for years. I have found grace for myself while looking back on places where I was so alone. I realized the strength it gave me for today, but I could see none of it then, nor would it have made it feel better.
I never really knew where this story would go or where it would end. I just kept reading it as I typed and I kept getting excited about what I read. I wrote about those days I stood alone and endured. I wrote about failing. I wrote about being a dad and falling at being a dad. Mostly I have written about music and hopefully I have given a very vivid description of the magic that music is. I have seen very big skies, and I have very little fear.
I wrote about putting everything we owned into a ’68 VW camper pop-up van. Second gear was missing but it was what I could find to haul my family away in… I traded it for my little 2 door Subaru race car I loved so much. We loaded up our eight-month-old Elaine and left.
We survived the wind of the gorge and finding out what family really means. We told everyone we were going to Colorado, but we only had enough money to get about 200 miles, not the 1200 to Fort Collins. I ended up working on a farm in eastern Washington for seven years and remarkably survived. Against every vice I found and great thing I tried to destroy, I still arrived here.
Finding the power of being grateful and walking in it is incredibly difficult to do. Greatness calls us at every twist and turn, pointing the way with false pathways that look so true. Even when you have found a place of contentment and joy, little things try to take the joy of gratitude and steal your breath. Find ways to mark your progress and remind yourself every day that what you have to offer is what we all need. You are the only version of you, and you matter.
I will always remember the first time I fell in love with my writing. I saw me and knew there was power in what I had to bring. I hold that with gratitude; I have already wasted so many years seeking greatness. I have made music for fifty years and I have had so many magical experiences with my bass and the people around me, but I have never had the feeling of loving my music the way I love my words. For some reason it seems this is the medium that the universe chose for me, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude.
Find your music… it may be painting or cooking or telling stories like me. Finding your music will lead you to gratitude and gratitude will bring you joy. Life is very short as a wise one said, it can be made long through love.
Love who you are, all of it… The attempts at greatness that flopped and the attempts at greatness that succeeded. They all make up the who, of who you are.
Where the mountain meets the sea is one of the most beautiful songs that the universe has ever given me. We all have ideas of what beauty means and usually it is fed by our experience and the things that influence us. Occasionally we have an experience that opens a door we have never seen before, or maybe we saw it and were told to walk away, or it’s locked. No matter how you find that door, open it. It just might introduce you to a spirit whom you could be friends with. I opened a door that introduced me to an ukelele player, weird how such random things become joy…
Listening, learning and growing…
[i] Mosk, Mitch (October 18, 2024). “Interview With Mon Rovîa: “The mission of my music is to heal with others””. Atwood Magazine.
A Connoisseur's Lullaby 